Will you do the fandango?
by InvisibleBlade
Summary: A random one shot involving Jack, The Doctor, River, Alcohol and atrocious singing. This is dedicated to John Watson. Thanks for reviewing my fan fiction John and thanks for joining the review game.


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own**

**A/N: This is dedicated to John Watson. Thanks for reviewing my fan fiction John and thanks for joining the review game.**

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The Doctor was positively flustered as he stepped out of his beloved blue box. He straightened out his jacket and pulled at his bow-tie nervously, all the time muttering " That woman." He pushed a hand through his thick mop of dark brown hair, and glanced around his surroundings warily.

The surroundings were foreign to him ; a most unusual occurrence. He was a time traveller which meant he had been practically to every corner of the universe, and had experienced things that other people wouldn't even be able to imagine. This however was different and that scared him.

He was now standing in what he supposed could be classed as a nightclub. There were all sorts of aliens swimming across the dance floor, bobbing their heads to the dangerously loud music, and swigging down toxic liquids. He didn't really see the appeal of being in a place like this but this was the place his wife had told him she'd be so it couldn't be too bad, could it?

He squinted his eyes slightly and felt a huge smile spread across his face as the exact curly haired woman that he had been thinking of came striding over to him. He waved at her madly and watched as her face seemed to visibly light up at the sight of him, " Hello dear," He greeted her before rapidly falling into his atrocious habit of rambling, " Sorry I'm late! The old girl decided she'd take a little detour. This was my third attempt at arriving here. The first one ended up with me getting lost in the Amazon jungle. Not the Amazon jungle on Earth though, the planet, Amazon jungle. The Second time I had to talk my way out of getting arrested by the shadow proclamation as my time travel licence expired almost over seven hundred years ago …" He was quickly interrupted by soft lips crashing onto his.

For the first few moments of that kiss he stood there like a clueless idiot, flapping his arms around in a manic fashion, but he soon found himself sinking into the kiss. He could taste the distinct taste of alcohol as his tongue flickered across her lower lip which meant his wife had already bee drinking for quite awhile. He found himself wondering whether such a young River mixed with alchahol was such a good idea, but he quickly found himself putting that thought to the back of his mind, " Hello Sweetie." She smirked at him as their lips finally unlocked.

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A good few drinks later and The Doctor found out just how bad a mix River and alchahol was. He himself was ever so mildly tipsy but his wife was completely drunk. She was so intoxicated in fact that if she wasn't currently holding onto him for dear life she would probably just fall over in a big heap,

" right, time we should be off. " He muttered, twisting his wife in the direction of the TARDIS. He carried on walking but soon realised that his wife wasn't budging. He looked and her shook his head,

"River we need to go! " He yelled above the pounding of the music.

" I don't want to go." She whined, " Besides the parties only just started!" She stomped her foot and remained motionless.

The Doctor sighed," You're drunk." He stated and began dragging her by force resulting in both of them tripping as River again remained stubbornly still. They both landed on the floor with a loud thud. River giggled and climbed on top of The Doctor. He gulped and tried to push the drunk, hormone driven River off of him.

" Need some help?" An American tilted voice asked from above them.

The Doctor felt the pressure from above him lighten and watched as River was lifted to her feet. A hand was also offered out to him, and he found himself gladly accepting it.

However as his eyes locked with those of the man who had just helped him up he found himself wanting to run and hide. He swallowed down hard and grimaced for this person was none other than …

" Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you. " Hmmm, same old Jack then.

River let out a small bumbling sound that sounded almost like a purr, " I'm …" She began but the Doctor quickly interrupted her,

" Leaving. Aren't we dear. " He grabbed her by the wrist and began tugging at her.

" Doctttor." She whined.

He felt his hearts freeze over in fear, and a large lump arose within his throat. A drunk, impossibly flirtatious and stubborn River he could handle, but now to add to the mix he had a time agent with no sexual boundaries, not good, not good at all He watched as a grin slowly spread across Jack's face in realisation of who he was.

" Doctor? Is that really you?" Jack's piercing blue eyes scrolled across him, studying him and perhaps hovering over his lower half for what could be considered as sociably acceptable.

Nodding his head, The Doctor suddenly found himself in a rib crushing hug, " Good to see you again too Jack." He managed to croak through restricted lungs.

Jack's grip loosened ever so slightly, " You look so different. " Jack stated.

" Good different? Or bad different? " The Doctor asked ; genuinely curious as to what his old companion thought of his new face.

" Oh most definatly good." Jack smirked playfully, " Not too sure about that bow tie of yours though doc. " He flicked the silky material and shook his head slightly.

" Hey, bow-ties are cool!" The Doctor grumbled.

" Sure they are." Jack replied.

A small cough notified both males to the fact that a certain blonde was being completely ignored.

" Ah, this is River. " The Doctor informed Jack. Jack's eyebrows rose and a glint gleamed in his eyes, " And before you get any ideas she's married … to me." He told him rapidly.

" Wow, things really are different, huh? " Jack stared at him, mouth agape.

" So captain, how do you two know each other?" River queried.

" We used to travel together. That was a long time ago though." The Doctor couldn't help but note the slight tinge of sadness within Jack's words, but through his alchahol haze he found his brain not really registering it.

" So how long are you guys staying here for? !" Jack asked excitedly.

" Actually, like I said, we were just going. " The Doctor replied hastily.

" Oh." Jack looked down at his feet in sheer disappointment.

The Doctor felt his hearts flutter within his chest slightly at the sight of Jack's downfallen expression, and before he could really stop himself he found himself saying, " But I'm sure another couple of hours would do no harm. "

Of course The Doctor highly doubted those words. River was already out of her mind from the amount of alcohol she had consumed, and he was perhaps a little tipsier than he'd like to admit. Still, what's the worst that could happen?

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The doctor hadn't quite imagined the night to turn out with him and Jack singing a duet with each other whilst watching River tap dancing ungracefully across the dance floor, but as it happened that's exactly what he found himself doing.

"I see a little silhouetto of a man!" Jack roared at the top of his lungs.

Scaramoosh, Scaramoosh." The Doctor squawked as he read the small letters flickering on the karaoke machine.

" Will you do the fandango?" Jack screamed, threw his microphone up in the air and did several back flips before collapsing in a tired, drunken ball on the floor.

The Doctor frowned, " What's a fandango? "He asked.

Jack snorted and shrugged, " A Spanish dance. "

River tottered over to The Doctor with a devilish smile written upon her features, " Why don't I show you what the fandango is sweetie. " She replied coyly." Captain, care to show my husband your best moves?" She asked Jack.

Jack leapt to his feet immediately, " Don't mind if I do." He retorted.

The Doctor suddenly found himself being backed into a corner by his wife and friend, " Um, guys!" He squeaked but quickly realised that he was almost certainly doomed.

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**I write for Doctor who, Primeval, and Torchwood. **


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